I was a worrier. Hardcore. Not about everything but in reality probably about far too many things-work, boys, bosses, family issues, friends, money, the future, the present-you get the picture. I think a reasonable amount of worrying is normal and many people are concerned about the same things but I was a little too preoccupied with my worrying. I could have been the gold medal champ. Not a lot of people knew that about me but I tried to fight it. Then things changed last summer and I worried about different things but at the same time I worried about less. It was freeing. I had a different perspective and instead of it being just a talking point I was actually able to practice my new perspective. It felt and still feels liberating. I look at the new year as another opportunity for change. While I'm thrilled 2012 is in the rear view mirror and I'm blowing a kiss goodbye to the past, I'm taking with me the lessons I've learned and working on some changes for 2013. Not resolutions because I think we set ourselves up to fail when we resolve to do something and take a step back and then beat ourselves up and then try again and this vicious cycle starts again and we forget what's really important.
Here's my top ten changes for 2013. What are yours?
10. Worry about what's important, let go of what isn't. if the flavor of the month isn't texting you or treating you how you deserve, they should worry you're going to walk away. Not the other way around.
9. Pursue my passion. I've written for years but haven't published in awhile. Time to change that.
8. Stay off the grid. I'm going to unplug everyday for awhile. Better to connect in person than virtually.
7. Take 10 seconds and think before I speak. Sometimes I don't have a filter. Oops.
6. Finish my 26 Acts of Kindness. I'm on my 5th.
5. Take a vacation and not worry about budget, location or packing.
4. Spend less. Give more. Take inventory before I decide to buy something just because.
3. Start nursing school. And not be scared.
2. Get out of the comfort zone-in everything.
1. Pay it forward.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Reflections: Where Do We Go From Here?
I'll never forget the moment I realized my dad was really gone. It was about a month or so after he had passed away. I was laying in my niece's twin bed in her room at my parent's house (I've stayed off and on with my mom since June). It had just hit me that night-for whatever reason-and I still remember the chill I felt. He was not in the next room. Nor was he coming back. He wouldn't laugh at me as I would pirouette down the hall (don't ask. just something I would do sometimes). My dad wouldn't meet another one of my boyfriends that he didn't like. He and I wouldn't get into a spirited debate over politics, reality tv or my spending habits. That was it.
I've thought a lot since Friday, like many others, of the families in Newtown. They are saying their goodbyes to their loved ones; many of whom were only 6 years old. My dad lived a long, fulfilling life. And in some way, that has comforted us. I just can't imagine what these parents are feeling. 6 years is the blink of an eye. When will it hit them that their children aren't coming back? I don't know. I just know that it takes awhile for it to sink in. My prayer is that we are still supporting these families at that time the way we are now.
I have seen, in the last 5 days, many acts of kindness. Many inspired by the twitter #26Acts. As Americans, we have always rallied around tragedy. We triumph in the face of adversity. The cynical will point out that after 911 the kindness that prevailed soon returned back to the status quo.This senseless act has cut us to our core. For many reasons. People from all walks of life, who hold a variety of different beliefs, are united in grief and sense of responsibility to do better. To do more.
I don't pretend to know what the founding fathers really meant in the 2nd amendment. As a history major, I can tell you that I don't think it meant arming this nation so that whackjobs can gun down a school or mall. Or that they ever envisioned assault rifles in the hands of the common citizen with monster magazines. I can only tell you that while the 2nd amendment is part of our Bill of Rights, it doesn't make it right that people manipulate this law to their liking. There are many laws people don't follow. We see this everyday. But mention the word "control" in regards to the 2nd amendment and it causes a slew of vitriol. I know this: something has to be done. The nation with the most guns in their population is the nation with the most gun violence. Simple math. It is our nation. It doesn't have to be.
I don't have the answer. I don't know that anyone does. But if something can be done to prevent another Newtown we as a nation have a responsibility to do so. I have thought about something else these last few days. The 2nd amendment is interpreted differently by many. And people cling to this amendment and point to it as their "God-given right" to bear arms. But, we also had laws that outlawed women and minorities from voting. We allowed SLAVERY. We had banned alcohol for a time period. That doesn't mean because it's in the Bill of Rights or Constitution that it's right or a good law. Look at our past history. We have a bevy of former laws that wouldn't be tolerated today. I'm not saying we need to ban guns. At all. However, it's time for a meaningful dialogue on SENSIBLE gun legislation and protocols. It's also the time to examine our approach to mental illness in this country. We stand on the cliff-not the fiscal cliff-but the cliff of change. We can move forward as a country or back and stay divided and continue major debates every time a tragedy like this happens. We as a nation owe it to the victims of Newtown and gun violence and mental illness to get it right this time. We owe it to the parents who will slowly realize that their children aren't coming back. We owe it to ourselves.
I've thought a lot since Friday, like many others, of the families in Newtown. They are saying their goodbyes to their loved ones; many of whom were only 6 years old. My dad lived a long, fulfilling life. And in some way, that has comforted us. I just can't imagine what these parents are feeling. 6 years is the blink of an eye. When will it hit them that their children aren't coming back? I don't know. I just know that it takes awhile for it to sink in. My prayer is that we are still supporting these families at that time the way we are now.
I have seen, in the last 5 days, many acts of kindness. Many inspired by the twitter #26Acts. As Americans, we have always rallied around tragedy. We triumph in the face of adversity. The cynical will point out that after 911 the kindness that prevailed soon returned back to the status quo.This senseless act has cut us to our core. For many reasons. People from all walks of life, who hold a variety of different beliefs, are united in grief and sense of responsibility to do better. To do more.
I don't pretend to know what the founding fathers really meant in the 2nd amendment. As a history major, I can tell you that I don't think it meant arming this nation so that whackjobs can gun down a school or mall. Or that they ever envisioned assault rifles in the hands of the common citizen with monster magazines. I can only tell you that while the 2nd amendment is part of our Bill of Rights, it doesn't make it right that people manipulate this law to their liking. There are many laws people don't follow. We see this everyday. But mention the word "control" in regards to the 2nd amendment and it causes a slew of vitriol. I know this: something has to be done. The nation with the most guns in their population is the nation with the most gun violence. Simple math. It is our nation. It doesn't have to be.
I don't have the answer. I don't know that anyone does. But if something can be done to prevent another Newtown we as a nation have a responsibility to do so. I have thought about something else these last few days. The 2nd amendment is interpreted differently by many. And people cling to this amendment and point to it as their "God-given right" to bear arms. But, we also had laws that outlawed women and minorities from voting. We allowed SLAVERY. We had banned alcohol for a time period. That doesn't mean because it's in the Bill of Rights or Constitution that it's right or a good law. Look at our past history. We have a bevy of former laws that wouldn't be tolerated today. I'm not saying we need to ban guns. At all. However, it's time for a meaningful dialogue on SENSIBLE gun legislation and protocols. It's also the time to examine our approach to mental illness in this country. We stand on the cliff-not the fiscal cliff-but the cliff of change. We can move forward as a country or back and stay divided and continue major debates every time a tragedy like this happens. We as a nation owe it to the victims of Newtown and gun violence and mental illness to get it right this time. We owe it to the parents who will slowly realize that their children aren't coming back. We owe it to ourselves.
Monday, December 3, 2012
New York State of Mind
What can I say other than I am so grateful to my mom for this once in a lifetime trip to NYC. I don't know many other 30 year olds that get to spend four days in one of the best cities in the world with their best friend who just happens to be their mom-and have an amazing time. The idea for this trip was borne this summer during a very sad time. We had planned a beach vacation with 15 of our family members for my parent's anniversary when my dad suddenly passed away two days after we were supposed to be beach-side. My mom isn't ready to go to Myrtle Beach-where their anniversary vacation was set to take place-but we decided to do something fun and to get away. I will admit in the weeks leading up to our vacation I was nervous and had some trepidation. I hadn't really gotten out of Pittsburgh since my dad died. I don't know why-it's just how things happened I guess. I was nervous flying as per usual. But the closer our departure loomed, the less nervous I became. Once we arrived in NYC I caught the buzz of excitement New York always has and also the spirit of the season. It was as if the last 6 months were not as really tough as they were. I was able live in the moment and soak up the amazing experiences we had-and forget some of the negative things that occurred back in the 'burgh. New York-you're the best!
Top Ten Moments/Things in NYC
10. The Donna asking our Spanish waiter at the tapas restaurant for a scissor because she tied her coat together. Yes, this happened. And she did the "cutting" gesture for the scissors to overcome the language barrier.
9. The amount of dogs in clothes going for walks on the city streets. Love.
8. The holiday windows on 5th avenue. Amazing. Works of art.
7. Food. Delish. perfect.
6. The Donna making friends EVERYWHERE we went. Which leads to #5...
5. The Donna convincing the guys who sell illegal wares on Canal Street to help us find a cab after we finally convinced them we weren't buying "chanel" watches
4. Broadway-Once. Best musical I may have ever seen. Sharing it with my mom even better.
3. Christmas Tree lighting in Rockefeller Center. 4 hours in the cold was absolutely worth it-and hearing the amazing musicians/artists that night for free was incredible.
2. St. Patrick's Cathedral. Breathtaking, spiritual experience I won't forget.
1. Laughing with my mom, sharing it all with her, and enjoying the experience together. I couldn't ask for a better mom, mentor, best friend and now traveling companion!
Monday, November 26, 2012
Did you survive the holiday weekend?
Survive the weekend? Good. Me too. My mom and I are about to embark on a girls' trip to NYC. I work tomorrow, have homework, need to pack, organize everything, get my mail etc and all I have done is book the shi-poo into a pet hotel and ordered him a dessert during his stay. I think I thrive on the nervous energy that comes with traveling and just use that and fly through the routine the night before.
Thanksgiving was warm, funny and loud-typical of holidays with my family. There was a hint of sadness when we prayed before dinner and mentioned my dad specifically but my mom and I squeezed each other's hands while our eyes welled with tears and embraced the moment. When I looked around the room at those who love us, I saw the bittersweet looks on their faces and realized again that it's not just us missing my dad, it's my cousins missing their uncle Tony. It's my aunts missing their brother-in-law. It's Chloe and Lia missing their pap-pap. And then we started eating, I hugged my brother on my way into the kitchen-just a little brother/sister moment-and the night was as always. Then my cousins asked if I went out the night before and if that's why I was tired and I think I mumbled something about Rivertowne and coming home really late and turned a little red and walked out of the room. You can't get away with anything in this family.
Speaking of, Thanksgiving Eve was basically ridiculous. I haven't gone out on this night in awhile-I always make my Special Sarah Stuffing and chocolate pie on this day-and the previous years I was dating someone. Well. Suffice it to say I haven't seen so many people cramped into one space since I was in Vegas. Monroeville is not Vegas so I'll let you use your imaginations but it was definitely a stone cold pack of weirdos but a lot of fun at the same time. It felt great to be with female friends and to enjoy a night out and just kind of let go a little. The night became more interesting the later it got but that's another blog for another day. I'll leave it at this: C and I had a talk, he was worried I was mad at him (which, rightfully so, I was) and in spite of what he he said he wanted I still don't think anything has changed. So, for now, I'm mingling.
I'm really looking forward to getting away, seeing NYC all dressed up for Christmas and enjoying some time away from Pittsburgh. It will be the first time going anywhere since my dad and I think my mom and I need a little change up right now. I look forward to updating everyone on the sites of NYC, the places The Donna and I check out and all the embarrassing moments along the way.
Thanksgiving was warm, funny and loud-typical of holidays with my family. There was a hint of sadness when we prayed before dinner and mentioned my dad specifically but my mom and I squeezed each other's hands while our eyes welled with tears and embraced the moment. When I looked around the room at those who love us, I saw the bittersweet looks on their faces and realized again that it's not just us missing my dad, it's my cousins missing their uncle Tony. It's my aunts missing their brother-in-law. It's Chloe and Lia missing their pap-pap. And then we started eating, I hugged my brother on my way into the kitchen-just a little brother/sister moment-and the night was as always. Then my cousins asked if I went out the night before and if that's why I was tired and I think I mumbled something about Rivertowne and coming home really late and turned a little red and walked out of the room. You can't get away with anything in this family.
Speaking of, Thanksgiving Eve was basically ridiculous. I haven't gone out on this night in awhile-I always make my Special Sarah Stuffing and chocolate pie on this day-and the previous years I was dating someone. Well. Suffice it to say I haven't seen so many people cramped into one space since I was in Vegas. Monroeville is not Vegas so I'll let you use your imaginations but it was definitely a stone cold pack of weirdos but a lot of fun at the same time. It felt great to be with female friends and to enjoy a night out and just kind of let go a little. The night became more interesting the later it got but that's another blog for another day. I'll leave it at this: C and I had a talk, he was worried I was mad at him (which, rightfully so, I was) and in spite of what he he said he wanted I still don't think anything has changed. So, for now, I'm mingling.
I'm really looking forward to getting away, seeing NYC all dressed up for Christmas and enjoying some time away from Pittsburgh. It will be the first time going anywhere since my dad and I think my mom and I need a little change up right now. I look forward to updating everyone on the sites of NYC, the places The Donna and I check out and all the embarrassing moments along the way.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Thankful
Thankful. I've probably used that word more this year than any other time and really understood and felt it's meaning. Thankful that I have a wonderfully supportive-and loud and crazy-family who wrapped us in strength and love when my dad unexpectedly passed away. Thankful for my amazing friends-real friends-who were and are more supportive than I could have ever dreamed. I'm also thankful that I learned I have an unrealized strength inside me-something that I wish I had never had to learn-but am grateful I did. So here is what I'm thankful for in 2012:
10. Cute shoes-they make everything better
9. Vegas-best trip ever in March with Lawyer Chic.
8. Reruns-Roseanne is still more funny than most shows on TV now
7. Having the courage to leave a job I had been at for several year and gaining self respect
6. Learning the difference between a true friend and a for-now friend. See above
5. Deacon Kelly-most generous, kind-hearted man who made the dark moments lighter
4. Dexter. My parents weren't sure about getting another dog but it all makes sense now why he came into our lives. Love my shi-poo!
3. My brother. I know I said I was thankful for my family but he deserves a special line this year.
2. Possibilities. I'm grateful that I live in a time and place where I don't have to stick to the original plan.
1. My parents. My dad-who is probably the most amazing man I will ever have the honor of meeting. My mom-my best friend. We're a package deal. I'm so lucky to be their daughter.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
10. Cute shoes-they make everything better
9. Vegas-best trip ever in March with Lawyer Chic.
8. Reruns-Roseanne is still more funny than most shows on TV now
7. Having the courage to leave a job I had been at for several year and gaining self respect
6. Learning the difference between a true friend and a for-now friend. See above
5. Deacon Kelly-most generous, kind-hearted man who made the dark moments lighter
4. Dexter. My parents weren't sure about getting another dog but it all makes sense now why he came into our lives. Love my shi-poo!
3. My brother. I know I said I was thankful for my family but he deserves a special line this year.
2. Possibilities. I'm grateful that I live in a time and place where I don't have to stick to the original plan.
1. My parents. My dad-who is probably the most amazing man I will ever have the honor of meeting. My mom-my best friend. We're a package deal. I'm so lucky to be their daughter.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
That other F word....
"Happy families are all alike," or so says the famous quote. Well. My family is loud. And crazy. And mostly Italian. Definitely all Catholic. Did I mention loud?
Growing up, cousins were friends, aunts were second moms and family holidays were like most other family dinners except with decorations and lights. Meaning they were loud, fun, warm, full of food and usually an argument or two. Up until a couple years ago my brother would like to ask during lulls in the conversation (usually a few glasses of wine in) "So Sarah, finally moving out of mom and dad's? I mean, nothing wrong with that, just that, well, it's time and you make too much money to live at home. And it's embarrassing for me". Or my favorite was on Easter Sunday when I opened the door to let him and my sister-in-law in: "Are you performing in Vegas after dinner?"-in reference to a sweater that hold shots of sparkly thread through it. Ah yes. It doesn't matter how you old you are, your siblings will always tease and torment you. He was 35 when he asked that FYI.
This past year, family has really been the mainstay in my life. And I include my friends in my family-my close friends refer to my mom as The Donna (because that's how I refer to her) and my friends are included in our get togethers and welcomed like they're family-we don't shake hands-we hug. A lot. In fact, I have had to stop myself from hugging people when I first meet them because, well, I could probably get arrested or they'd think I'm a freak. Or both. Anyways, freak hugging aside, we're pretty welcoming. And we'll feed you. As long as you don't mind the hugging situation. Did I mention we're Catholic?
Oh yeah that. Half the family is non practicing but that doesn't mean rosaries aren't hanging in every house, prayer cards aren't on the fridge or statues aren't on the windowsills. Because they are. In every single house. When I was growing up, I just thought every one's house was like that. What, didn't you have a St. Joseph statue to put in the ground when your parents were trying to sell their house? You mean you don't have an aunt to call to put people-even atheists-on the prayer chain for whatever reason one needs to be put on a prayer chain?
At first, I didn't agree with the premise that happy families are all alike. For instance, my family is loud, crazy and I have 19 first cousins alone on my mom's side. One of my best friend's family is quiet, pretty normal and couldn't form their own football team. I can and do talk to my mom about men and sex (yeah really-I usually laugh after and say "I can't believe I told you that") while my friend's mom thought she was still a virgin at 30. But I realized something. Happy families aren't happy all the time-that would be impossible and the Brady Brunch was definitely a fantasy not a reality-and constant happiness is fake. That's because life is messy and complicated. Problems aren't solved in 22 minutes with a laugh track. Families aren't necessarily a mom, dad, 2 kids and a yellow Lab. They include the people we're not only related to but those we love that have become family-whether through genetics or friendship. But happy families are alike because they love one another. They may fight, get on each other's nerves and talk about one another behind their backs sometimes but at the end of the day-family is your one constant. So, I guess, in the end, that makes us alike.
Growing up, cousins were friends, aunts were second moms and family holidays were like most other family dinners except with decorations and lights. Meaning they were loud, fun, warm, full of food and usually an argument or two. Up until a couple years ago my brother would like to ask during lulls in the conversation (usually a few glasses of wine in) "So Sarah, finally moving out of mom and dad's? I mean, nothing wrong with that, just that, well, it's time and you make too much money to live at home. And it's embarrassing for me". Or my favorite was on Easter Sunday when I opened the door to let him and my sister-in-law in: "Are you performing in Vegas after dinner?"-in reference to a sweater that hold shots of sparkly thread through it. Ah yes. It doesn't matter how you old you are, your siblings will always tease and torment you. He was 35 when he asked that FYI.
This past year, family has really been the mainstay in my life. And I include my friends in my family-my close friends refer to my mom as The Donna (because that's how I refer to her) and my friends are included in our get togethers and welcomed like they're family-we don't shake hands-we hug. A lot. In fact, I have had to stop myself from hugging people when I first meet them because, well, I could probably get arrested or they'd think I'm a freak. Or both. Anyways, freak hugging aside, we're pretty welcoming. And we'll feed you. As long as you don't mind the hugging situation. Did I mention we're Catholic?
Oh yeah that. Half the family is non practicing but that doesn't mean rosaries aren't hanging in every house, prayer cards aren't on the fridge or statues aren't on the windowsills. Because they are. In every single house. When I was growing up, I just thought every one's house was like that. What, didn't you have a St. Joseph statue to put in the ground when your parents were trying to sell their house? You mean you don't have an aunt to call to put people-even atheists-on the prayer chain for whatever reason one needs to be put on a prayer chain?
At first, I didn't agree with the premise that happy families are all alike. For instance, my family is loud, crazy and I have 19 first cousins alone on my mom's side. One of my best friend's family is quiet, pretty normal and couldn't form their own football team. I can and do talk to my mom about men and sex (yeah really-I usually laugh after and say "I can't believe I told you that") while my friend's mom thought she was still a virgin at 30. But I realized something. Happy families aren't happy all the time-that would be impossible and the Brady Brunch was definitely a fantasy not a reality-and constant happiness is fake. That's because life is messy and complicated. Problems aren't solved in 22 minutes with a laugh track. Families aren't necessarily a mom, dad, 2 kids and a yellow Lab. They include the people we're not only related to but those we love that have become family-whether through genetics or friendship. But happy families are alike because they love one another. They may fight, get on each other's nerves and talk about one another behind their backs sometimes but at the end of the day-family is your one constant. So, I guess, in the end, that makes us alike.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Top Ten Lessons From The Golden Girls
Here is my list of the top ten lessons I have learned from my favorite girls. Please add yours!
10. We may not figure out the solution to a problem right away, but cheesecake always helps.
9. Shoulder pads didn't look good on anyone
8. Good friends do not have to have the same beliefs, ideas or fashion
7. Men are no wiser at 60 than at 30
6. Friends will stick around much longer than any man will (see #7)
5. We all have an ex like Stan that we just can't seem to get rid of
4. Older people have sex. And talk about it. A lot
3. People should be free to love and marry anyone they want (Blanche's brother married his bf)
2. People want to love and be loved at any age
1. Friends can be closer than even family; cherish the friends you're lucky to call your own. You never know when you'll be stuck on a desert island and need Rose to help you find your way to the Hyatt on the good part of the island.
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