"Happy families are all alike," or so says the famous quote. Well. My family is loud. And crazy. And mostly Italian. Definitely all Catholic. Did I mention loud?
Growing up, cousins were friends, aunts were second moms and family holidays were like most other family dinners except with decorations and lights. Meaning they were loud, fun, warm, full of food and usually an argument or two. Up until a couple years ago my brother would like to ask during lulls in the conversation (usually a few glasses of wine in) "So Sarah, finally moving out of mom and dad's? I mean, nothing wrong with that, just that, well, it's time and you make too much money to live at home. And it's embarrassing for me". Or my favorite was on Easter Sunday when I opened the door to let him and my sister-in-law in: "Are you performing in Vegas after dinner?"-in reference to a sweater that hold shots of sparkly thread through it. Ah yes. It doesn't matter how you old you are, your siblings will always tease and torment you. He was 35 when he asked that FYI.
This past year, family has really been the mainstay in my life. And I include my friends in my family-my close friends refer to my mom as The Donna (because that's how I refer to her) and my friends are included in our get togethers and welcomed like they're family-we don't shake hands-we hug. A lot. In fact, I have had to stop myself from hugging people when I first meet them because, well, I could probably get arrested or they'd think I'm a freak. Or both. Anyways, freak hugging aside, we're pretty welcoming. And we'll feed you. As long as you don't mind the hugging situation. Did I mention we're Catholic?
Oh yeah that. Half the family is non practicing but that doesn't mean rosaries aren't hanging in every house, prayer cards aren't on the fridge or statues aren't on the windowsills. Because they are. In every single house. When I was growing up, I just thought every one's house was like that. What, didn't you have a St. Joseph statue to put in the ground when your parents were trying to sell their house? You mean you don't have an aunt to call to put people-even atheists-on the prayer chain for whatever reason one needs to be put on a prayer chain?
At first, I didn't agree with the premise that happy families are all alike. For instance, my family is loud, crazy and I have 19 first cousins alone on my mom's side. One of my best friend's family is quiet, pretty normal and couldn't form their own football team. I can and do talk to my mom about men and sex (yeah really-I usually laugh after and say "I can't believe I told you that") while my friend's mom thought she was still a virgin at 30. But I realized something. Happy families aren't happy all the time-that would be impossible and the Brady Brunch was definitely a fantasy not a reality-and constant happiness is fake. That's because life is messy and complicated. Problems aren't solved in 22 minutes with a laugh track. Families aren't necessarily a mom, dad, 2 kids and a yellow Lab. They include the people we're not only related to but those we love that have become family-whether through genetics or friendship. But happy families are alike because they love one another. They may fight, get on each other's nerves and talk about one another behind their backs sometimes but at the end of the day-family is your one constant. So, I guess, in the end, that makes us alike.
No comments:
Post a Comment