Make new friends...but keep the old?

Ahhh Janaury. The time for new starts right?  Does it count if it's a new start with an old friend?

I think it should. January is bringing a lot of new opportunities this way which was one of my goals for this year. But, like I hinted at before, the past is still in clear view.  Today was a prime example. I texted a friend of mine and wished him a happy birthday this morning before leaving for an appointment. We used to talk every day, or every other day and sometimes for hours on end. We had a falling out in October and hadn't really reconnected or recovered. He apologized and I accepted yet I could never fully get past it. But we did talk a couple times during the holidays and when he texted me back after I wished him a happy birthday, I found out he didn't have any plans for his birthday and seeing that I was going to be near his neighborhood I asked if he wanted to go to lunch.  He did and we had a great time catching up and he tried to pay even though it was his birthday, so I clearly wasn't having that.

 I really wasn't sure what was going to happen in October when things exploded. I was ready at one point to let the friendship go but I realized a few things. We all mistakes; and I certainly make my fair share. Also, forgiveness doesn't excuse what one person did, rather it allows you to move on and give the other person that opportunity too. It doesn't mean we're back to the point we were before. We may never be. And that's ok too. But friendship is one of those grey areas in life. It's not an absolute, or an all or nothing black and white situation. At least with me. If we didn't give people second chances (or third), we're not only hurting them but ourselves. Some things you can't move past though and I fully understand that. But, as I have often pointed out, life is short. Too short to hold on to hurt and anger from the past and sometimes moving on doesn't mean leaving someone behind; instead it can mean a new start with an old friend. And for me, that's enough.

No resolutions for 2013-just changes!

I was a worrier. Hardcore. Not about everything but in reality probably about far too many things-work, boys, bosses, family issues, friends, money, the future, the present-you get the picture. I think a reasonable amount of worrying is normal and many people are concerned about the same things but I was a little too preoccupied with my worrying. I could have been the gold medal champ. Not a lot of people knew that about me but I tried to fight it.  Then things changed last summer and I worried about different things but at the same time I worried about less. It was freeing. I had a different perspective and instead of it being just a talking point I was actually able to practice my new perspective. It felt and still feels liberating. I look at the new year as another opportunity for change. While I'm thrilled 2012 is in the rear view mirror and I'm blowing a kiss goodbye to the past, I'm taking with me the lessons I've learned and working on some changes for 2013. Not resolutions because I think we set ourselves up to fail when we resolve to do something and take a step back and then beat ourselves up and then try again and this vicious cycle starts again and we forget what's really important.

Here's my top ten changes for 2013. What are yours?

10. Worry about what's important, let go of what isn't. if the flavor of the month isn't texting you or treating you how you deserve, they should worry you're going to walk away. Not the other way around.
9. Pursue my passion. I've written for years but haven't published in awhile. Time to change that.
8. Stay off the grid. I'm going to unplug everyday for awhile. Better to connect in person than virtually.
7. Take 10 seconds and think before I speak. Sometimes I don't have a filter. Oops.
6. Finish my 26 Acts of Kindness. I'm on my 5th.
5. Take a vacation and not worry about budget, location or packing.
4. Spend less. Give more. Take inventory before I decide to buy something just because.
3. Start nursing school. And not be scared.
2. Get out of the comfort zone-in everything.
1. Pay it forward.