Painting the town red?

I've often described Pittsburgh as America's "biggest small town".  I usually refer to the unique neighborhoods and how there's a small town friendly atmosphere and how often you'll run into someone you know. It's also true when traveling. No matter where I have been-including a very small bar in Canada on an obscure Sunday-I have met someone from Pittsburgh.  Myrtle Beach is practically Pittsburgh 2.0 with the amount of transplants and Steeler bars located on the Grand Strand. However, I conveniently forgot this charming little nuance about the 'Burgh on Saturday night when I strolled to the champagne bar with my GB (Guy Bestie).

I had a drink at Perle last weekend with my sorority sisters during our reunion but we weren't there for that long.  This Saturday, I managed to run into three people I know in the first hour there, two of whom are guys I have dated or "talked" to. (Talking to: euphemism for how we describe the pre dating ritual of texting, talking, communicating, flirting and casual hangouts).  Now, as America's biggest small town, the minute anything new happens/opens, it is immediately crowned the new hot spot, extremely crowded and heady with the promise of drama waiting to happen. Not to say we didn't have a good time, because we actually had a great time. However, here are the top 3 uncomfortable moments of the night:

3.  Much older men trying to position themselves around the largest group of girls and strategically attempt to pick spots where few guys occupied. All the while drinking non-alcoholic beer (in a champagne bar), ogling me while sitting with my GB and fixing their hair pieces.

2  Eastern European girl practically giving GB lap dance-yes, this happened and yes, you had to be there. I'm telling you, everyone and their mother (literally) were teetering on their stilettos at Perle that night. I did encourage GB to talk to her, I mean if someone is practically dancing on you isn't that what you do? As a gentleman he did not. However, if he complains about being single next week I will remind him of this. haha.

1. Running into A (hot guy I went out with last year) and having him ask how long I've been dating GB.  Um, we're not.  Oh.  Well is he gay? No.  Is he straight? Yes.  Is he single?  Yes. Sarah, why aren't you dating him? Um. I haven't seen you in a year A and you're with Stifler's Mom's twin (how she looked in Legally Blonde though) and you're asking why i'm not dating my gb? Normal. I complimented Stifler's mom's bag and politely hugged goodbye.  (note: stifler's mom was a friend in from Florida. Still). 

Not on the list but should be noted: the groups of guys who hit the regular Pittsburgh "scene" walking around with Jersey shore hairstyles.  Guys-that only worked in Jersey. And not really even then.

I predict this will be the hot spot of the year and the place where everyone is heading but remember this: if there's someone you don't want to run into, proceed with caution. This is Pittsburgh. They will be there.  And because it's Pittsburgh they will be friendly and come over and talk to you. And because it's Pittsburgh the place is small enough that you will be able to see them from every angle and they will catch you watching them. That might have happened to me. Don't let it happen to you.