Silver Linings.....

Before I left to meet up with Lawyer Chick in Vegas; I had been seeing someone who will be known as Zombie Dude. Zombie Dude and I had the makings of a bad Nicholas Sparks book. It was brief and ended even quicker. Thank God for Mark Zuckerberg wanting to hook up with cool, smart chicks because without Facebook I may not have known that he was ensconced with someone else. And, had I not found that out I wouldn't have bothered to read my email from an online dating site and the message from one bacon loving nerd would have gone unread for weeks. Well. I did find out, the message was read and we have booked our first vacation for October. He is my silver lining. And the reason I'm no longer online dating. Or dating at all. Well, I guess I'm dating HIM of course but you know what I mean. In a moment of real irony, I'm SO happy I found out about Zombie Dude and his lying, pseudo emo behavior. Had I not, I wouldn't have found my silver lining. That said, I wasn't sure what was going to happen. My now boyfriend was polite but persistent. He didn't give up. Even when I would send three word answers and admitted I wasn't ready to talk to or trust anyone (oh woe is me Danielle Steel), he was right there. He talked to me every day in Vegas, waited for me to get home and then took me out on what started as a somewhat awkward first date that was magic in the end. We now laugh about the awkwardness that was the beginning of our first date; which without humor, what is left?

If that isn't enough of a development, I start a new venture next week. I was offered and accepted a 6 month recruiting contract position for a national staffing company. I'm very excited about the opportunity and flexibility it gives me. Namely, back to a normal schedule. It will allow me to save some money, exercise my skills and take biology and go from there. I've finally realized that it's ok to not know how it's all going to work out. Change is the constant I can rely on; well that and reruns of Roseanne. Speaking off, did you know Becky was really with David and Darlene was really with Mark? Let that one simmer. Anyway, hopefully this will give me the time and energy to figure out the next step.Whether I apply for a program in six months or a year, I have the time and resources to make the right decision.  Again, a silver lining among my professional confusion. And a supportive, cute, snarky, conservative (um yeah, about that) bf right along side me.

Follow the yellow brick road?

Ooof. That was the sound this morning when I woke up, bleary eyed and rolling over on Eeyore. And then I strangely smelled smoke. Oh yes. Last night comes tumbling back in a tidal wave of smoke and amaretto. Girls night out ended up at one of the few bars left that still permits smoking and when the door opens it immediately penetrates your clothes, hair and basically anything else. Or maybe it seems that much stronger since smoking isn't allowed in most places these days. At any rate, it was definitely reminiscent of three or four years ago when life was seemingly less complicated but also more artificial. Now, I'm lucky if I see my bffs once a month-not every week like before. Going out is more of a time to catch up and fill each other in on happenings that can't be communicated properly over text, facebook chat or hurried phone calls. It's not a staging ground for attracting members of the opposite sex and one upping each other.

 It's strange, this whole thirty thing. For some reason, whether it's society portrayals or personal expectations, but I expected to have "things" figured out. What these things are, I'm not sure. I suspect they're different for everyone however I guess assumed I'd be married (that deserves a big LOL), reached some career high and planning the next phase. Instead I'm still experiencing the nerve inducing round of first dates, am starting a new job and about to make some huge changes to my living arrangements (currently living alone in an adorbs apartment). And you know what? That's fine too. The yellow brick road is paved with many twists and turns. (Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite movies). Dorothy's journey may have been shorter if she had chosen a different path, but it wouldn't have been the same and she might not have met the special friends that crossed her path. Had I chosen one path I would have been married, and most likely divorced now, and possibly stalled in a career that wasn't personally satisfying as it had been once upon a time. So while I still dodge a few flying monkeys, I'm enjoying following my own yellow brick road. And I think I'm getting closer to Emerald City. It might take me awhile but I know I'll figure it out. I might keep waking up with Eeyore for a long time to come and have to put in more hours than I care to admit for school and have more bad dates than good ones but it will make the end result that much sweeter. And if not, I always have had a thing for red shoes. Just three clicks and you can always go home.

1/3-year Life Crisis-Am I The Only One?

Doctor. Teacher. Actress. Nun (note: I went to Catholic school and it was a short-lived thought). Lawyer. Pharmacist (my parent's dream). All of those above mentioned careers are respectable (or at least a calling: see nun) and span the list of future jobs I considered during my early years, say the kindergarten to 3rd grade time period.  I just assumed after college this plan would be laid out and I'd work until I got married and had children. Or a dog. As I got older, my ambitions changed and I wanted to be a journalist or actress and live in LA or DC.  In college, I fell in love with politics and planned to work on campaigns in some capacity. Then I moved to Myrtle Beach for what was ostensibly "just the the summer" and stayed for two years. Funny how plans change. And moving back I found a new career path-recruiting and HR which I do love.  I also still wrote on the side, would volunteer on campaigns and still dream about what I would do one day as a grown up. That was ok at 25 maybe. At 30? Probably not. But I ask, am I the only one? And from what I can tell, I'm not.  The quarter-life crisis is talked about more frequently, made popular by a hit book and Oprah appearance. However, the 1/3  year life crisis isn't discussed as much but remains ever present.  And, I'm here to tell you: it's ok. It's more than ok, it's to be expected. Here's why:

1. The economy. Career specialists theorize people will have 4 or 5 career changes in their lifetime now. Certain occupations may be excluded from this but many are not. Jobs are limited, certain areas in the country recovered faster and more specific degrees are needed for this market.

2. Technology.  Everything is literally a Google search away. Whatever it is, you can find it online. Everything from medicine to dating has been taken to the grid. We have more options than ever for everything. How is that not confusing?

3. Marriage. People are getting married later. People are also getting divorced younger and starting over. It's not our parent's world anymore. Women are earning more than ever and are more educated than men in some cities. This creates weird dating dynamics. And people get married now because they want to. It's no longer a necessity or a business transaction. Plus, with online dating and Google (see technology) dating is no longer your typical courtship.

Now, there are a myriad of other reasons as to why at 30 we feel unsettled and well, not grown up. I'll be the first to admit that I like myself more at this age, I'm more confident and I have a much better perspective on what matters than I did at 25 or 20. However, I still wake up in the morning not knowing what I want to do when I grow up. Maybe that's what keeps us motivated, finding the answers and pinpointing our passions. And while our technology driven modern society creates some of these issues, it also is the reason why we can still can dream at any age and pursue our passions.  Maybe it isn't such a crisis after all.  Maybe we won't have a boss we want to staple things to all the time. I'll keep dreaming.