Top 10 Most Ridiculous Lines From Men (That I've Heard)

Dating, relating and mating is really not that much easier in your 30s than your 20s-so it seems. Granted, the short 3 months I've been 30 may not be a great barometer for that statement, but it certainly hasn't changed much.  For me, my perspective on a lot of things has changed this summer with certain events.  I've gained much perspective in regards to dating-natch-and lost a lot of hang-ups. Still, it doesn't make it less frustrating and maybe even more so because my bullshit tolerance level is much lower now (sorry guys).  I have a fabulous, smart, fun-loving gorgeous friend-let's call her Lawyer Chic (she's very chic too). She's experiencing some of the typical uncertainties that develop when newly dating someone. In honor of her and all us women trying to navigate this bizarre territory, I present the TOP 10 MOST RIDICULOUS LINES FROM MEN.  To the people (woman and yes, even men) who have successfully navigated the terrain-you inspire us.

10. My watch was stolen babe. I swear. Some guy beat me up for it. (Really, was there a rumble too Ponyboy? The watch was pawned).
9. If you make more money than me, you should pay for more on our dates.
8. I wanted to divorce my wife, but I can't believe she actually left when I told her that.
7. My ex-girlfriend is mad that we're dating; she keeps giving me a hard time that I didn't send her a card for Valentine's day.
6. What do you mean I can't at least sleep on your couch? You were flirting with me after all!
5. Oh, when you didn't text me right after our date I thought that meant you didn't like me. That's why I waited for three weeks to text you and ask you out again. What do you mean you started seeing someone else? It's only been three weeks!
4. I like you a lot too soon. That's why I can't go out with you right now.
3. My friend just texted she had her baby. Oh yeah, guess I should have told you. There's a possibility it's mine. Sorry. It's just too much to handle dating now. (it wasn't his)
2. I'm letting my ex gf live move in with me until she finds a place of her own. She was surprised this meant I didn't want to start things up again.
1. My buddy's wife just finalized their divorce, can you find a friend and bring her to dinner tonight? Maybe we can cheer him up-he wants to get a drink. I know I haven't seen you in years, but he's kind of down. (rescheduled-told him to just meet his friend).

*disclaimer: not all of these happened to me. most of them did however.

Your turn to add to the list!